Go onto any real estate website and you’re bound to see some amazing sights. Just because someone wants to sell a house doesn’t mean they have good taste. People do all sorts of crazy things to their homes. Bad paint jobs, ridiculous setups, and odd lighting fixtures are all part of the fun. Well, part of the fun for us, that is.
That’s not to say all of us are naturally good at designing homes, which is sort of like singing. Some people are really good at it. Most of us are average. And then some people are fantastically bad at it. That’s why we watch American Idol fail compilations on YouTube. And it’s why there are entire blogs dedicated to terribly designed homes.
Kitchens are some of the worst offenders. As the main room of the house, the kitchen is a place to congregate over good conversations and meals. For that reason, it should be relaxing, comfortable, and functional. But as these design fails show, that’s not always the case.
Some of them are cramped. Some look like your grandmother’s house. And some people are trying so hard to be creative that the outcomes will leave you scratching your head.
1. Yikes
Say it with me: there’s never a reason to have a toilet in your kitchen. It’s unsanitary for one thing. And if you really need a toilet that urgently, you might need to see a doctor.
Do you love optical illusions? Do you want to be confused every time you try to get a kitchen utensil? If so, we have the perfect drawer pattern for you.
It’s possible to take any hobby too far, even one that involves caring for houseplants. The foliage in this kitchen is over the top. But it just barely distracts from those awful kitchen cabinets.
Here’s a diet plan for people with no willpower. It’s impossible to overeat if you literally can’t open your fridge. That’s what this kitchen layout is for, right?
Nothing says “We have money” like a window etching in the shape of a fancy car. But to avoid being too ostentatious, throw in a couple of female gymnasts on the other windows. Let’s not be tacky.
I’m not a professional architect, but I’d like to think I could design a better kitchen than this. To be fair, this is setting the bar pretty low. All I have to do is make sure none of the cabinet doors hit the sprinkler system and I win.
There’s nothing like having a major support beam — and tripping hazard — in the middle of your kitchen floor. Here’s the kicker: this house is a multimillion-dollar home in Los Angeles.
Between food remnants and moisture, mold is almost unavoidable in kitchens. The solution to that is bleach or you could hide it by putting in a tile pattern that looks like fake mold.
We’re all for keeping things open and uncluttered, but this is taking it a step too far. If I was in this kitchen, I’d be worried there was a murderer behind that fridge unit.
Who doesn’t love a cutesy sign in the kitchen? But seriously, this was an easy mistake to avoid. Even if you’ve never seen a spoon, just Google “what is a spoon?” Also, why haven’t you seen a spoon?
Here’s the kitchen cabinet design your grandmother would have. She would’ve never noticed it. Everyone else would have to pretend there weren’t penises on the cabinets.
Do you want to know a good way to get electrocuted while also starting a fire? Try taking a shower, frying an egg, and doing a load of laundry in the same 10-by-10-foot space.
Forget putting up some nice pictures of yourself and your spouse from your wedding day. This couple opted to turn themselves into their kitchen backsplash. It’s going to be really awkward if they get divorced.
Do you dress up in ball gowns daily and identify strongly with Morticia Addams? Do you eat all your meals sitting at one end of a long banquet table? Buy this house immediately.
This kitchen is so far from the opposite of minimalism, I think Marie Kondo would combust at the mere sight of it. Seriously, do you not know when enough is enough?
No one likes these hanging cabinets that create a faux wall. And no one likes when the counter and the oven are completely different sizes. This is so stressful.
Every kitchen island should have unnecessary legs. They offer no support at all and they increase your chances of stubbing toes, bruised shins, and faceplants.
If you want to drive your residents insane, design a kitchen exactly like this. Make sure every time you open the refrigerator it hits the light switch. You’ll eat your snack in the dark or not at all.
Can you ever have too many chandeliers? What’s the top number that you should put in a kitchen? Personally, I don’t think it’s possible to make a kitchen too fabulous.
There’s loving where you’re from and then there’s this next level of loving where you’re from. There are only a few state shapes that make good tables and Kentucky isn’t one of them.
Most people want their kitchen to be a place where they can feel safe and cozy. But not this family. They prefer to do all their cooking with the threat of being crushed by a falling piano.
Have you ever seen someone’s house and immediately figured out everything you needed to know about them? I don’t know anything else about this homeowner. But their love of butterflies has me backing away.
This counter is such a mess that I can’t even tell what it’s supposed to be. Was it installed upside down? Are you supposed to climb up to it using steps?
You often hear people complaining that their kitchen doesn’t have enough drawer space. But you probably won’t hear them saying there are too many drawers. Where are you supposed to put your spatulas?
Every kitchen needs two giant pillars interrupting the sightlines and counter space of the room. At least there’s a helpful outlet. Side note: that corner window is almost just as bad.
When one renter moved into this house, they were shocked to find a tub and shower attachment in the kitchen. There was nothing they could do except put up a shower curtain so no one knows it’s there.
When you don’t have a separate laundry room in your house, you have to get creative with space. That doesn’t mean putting a washing machine in the kitchen and the fridge on the counter.
Most kitchens have ovens placed up against the wall for good reason — they’re hot and they need to vent. This designer preferred a freestanding version. Newsflash, we hate it.
This is enough to drive anyone crazy. The sink is at the wrong angle to the edge of the counter. How’s it possible these homeowners haven’t lost their minds?
This designer desperately wanted to go with an open floor plan. They just couldn’t resist putting in a couple of pillars to make everyone uncomfortable.
